Id cry too if I played golf like you. Gone golfin' be back dark thirty. Wodehouse, Golf is Not a great sport. How many does he do?, Man: Well, that depends on how hard I kick him in the ass.. I collected hilarious jokes about golfing; some are very clean and others are like an old golf ball: pretty used and dirty. Because they might get a slice. The man took a step back from his ball, closed his eyes and said a quick prayer. Enjoy the game, enjoy these best golf jokes. How far do you hit it? said Palmer. Important advice: if you golf during the election, make sure you cast your absent-tee ballot! The 18 Best Golf Movies You Need To Watch In 2023, Top 14 Golf Podcasts You Should Listen To (Updated 2023), 7 Left Handed Golf Tips To Crush The Competition, 50 Side-Splitting Golf Puns & Jokes For Any Situation, Practicing Golf At Home: 10 Tricks To Improve Your Game. "Golf is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off." Bruce Lansky 15 of 50 Scott Halleran/Getty Images "On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. 3. "We learn so many things from golfhow to suffer, for instance.". We share them in our weekly newsletter. Ian Fleming, I drove a golf ball into the air / It fell to earth, I knew not where / For, so swiftly it flew, the sight / Could not follow it in its flight. It took one afternoon on the golf course. Hank Aaron, owner of 755 home runs and one amazing golf quote. Jack Lemmon, a true comedian on and off the course. These quotes and images about funny golf are the truest, wisest, and most positive ones to be found on the web. It can be rewarding. Palmer, how do you make a 3 iron back up like that?, Mr. Palmer replied, Do you own a 3 iron?. What do you getll a blonde at the driving range? With the exception of the putter and the driver remember that you hit down on every other shot in golf. All through the night they made wild love together. A bad hole wont get you a slap across the face when you play golf. Its just really hard to play. A young man with a few hours to spare one afternoon figures that if he hurries and plays very fast, he can get in nine holes before he has to head home. You are slightly ashamed of what you have done and worst of all you know it will At the golf corpse! "I was married to her for 35 years." 2. Phyllis Diller, with her outrageous teased hair and housewife caricature stage persona, was a master of delivery and comedic timing. Like a PGA Tour pro once said to his pro-am partners, youre not good enough to get angry. So dont even try it. My shaft is bent. Which is the easiest golf stroke? A married couple were golfing when all of a sudden the wife asks, Wife: Honey, if I die, will you marry again?, Wife: Will you let her sleep in our bed?, Wife: Would you even let her use my golf clubs?. After 18 holes, I can barely walk. Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty Full Text: Keep Calm and Go For A Run Features: Size: 9x12 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging, Full Text: Beware Of Owner ~ The Dog Features: Size: 7x7 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting. Keep your head down. So that you can share them back, with the whole world. Hey babycan you suck a golf ball through 50 feet of garden hose? I just havent played yet. Muhammed Ali, I mean, who else could say something like this? 4. You've got the nicest boobs I've seen outside a PGA Tour locker room. Many golfing terms sound naughty. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, Of course. To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. The guys who come If you break 80, watch your business. Jack Benny. Youre too out-of-shape to play in the church softball league. My doctor told me I cant play golf. Oh, when did he play with you?. Palmer calmly said, What the hell do you want it to back up for?. SO why does the golfer carry two shirts? Don Carter Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. Because he thought every day he needed to play around. A man without a woman is like a pistol without a trigger; it is the woman who makes the man go off. Who do golfers pay tribute to on the 4th of July? What should you do if you're golfing near lightning? THE MATERIAL ON THIS SITE MAY NOT BE REPRODUCED, DISTRIBUTED, TRANSMITTED, CACHED OR OTHERWISE USED, EXCEPT WITH THE PRIOR WRITTEN PERMISSION OF DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. 2023 DISCOVERY GOLF, INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, 15 very funny (and occasionally inappropriate) golf memes, 17 Awful (But Mostly Funny) Golf Fails from 2013, This new Top Flite commercial is sophomoric, inappropriate, and very funny. Regardless of time, place, situation, event, or occasion, it is in our human nature, to learn and express. There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating. My swing is so bad, I look like a caveman killing his lunch. What did the golfer say to the hip hop dancer? Weve put together a list of our favorite jokes, golf puns, and one-liners you can bust out on the course, the range, or the pub to try and laugh off that 102 you just shot. "Your game is so bad you had to have your ball retriever re-gripped!" Babe Ruth once said, "It took me 17 years to get three thousand hits in baseball. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I cant play it. A hole in one of a kind model. Golf is the easiest game in the world. In the Golf of Mexico! I never prayed that I would make a putt. Its to move on. Your second mental problem is concentration. The fourth putt! He grabs his 7-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. And it matters how we go about attaining them. In case he gets a hole in one. Touch is something you create by hitting millions of golf balls. H. G. Wells, The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. Answer: Roarin Mcilroy. The three tried & true methods of improving your game are: practice, study the pros, and cheat your ass off. Golf tips are like Aspirin: One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle youll be lucky to survive. Harvey Penick, 17. Why do golfers put minus signs in front of their scores? Fear comes in two packages fear of failure, and sometimes, fear of success. Tom Kite, 21. Jim Bishop, I had a wonderful experience on the golf course today. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers , Now, enough talking, lets swing this thing. They expect to succeed! Funny Golf Quotes You know you're on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do. Two couples were enjoying a competitive, best-ball match wives against husbands with the losers buying lunch and a libation. Why do golfers hate cake? It means, in so many words, that if you can golf when the wind is blowing youre a man; if not, youre still a boy. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Here is a list that I have compiled over the years of my some of my favorite golf quotes. Try choking donw on the shaft. I give him the driver. So I thought I should start a website about jokes. Boo who? You can enjoy both of them even if youre terrible at it! He's the one getting his balls cleaned. 5. His comment gets at a few things: the wondrous and fascinating aspects of the game and its tendency to make bold-faced liars of its participants. I just got a call my wife has had a life threatening car accident and Im worried I might not make it.. I am a Musician. I, with my lovely Wishian team, gather the expressions, sort them out, organize them with suitable background images, and serve them to you. Jeff Foxworthy, In order to develop a golf swing, your thoughts must run in the right direction. The most redundant thing on a golf course is a ball-washer on a hole with water hazards. Whos there? Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. I know what to look for. David Brenner, For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball. Her husband thought that this was a riot and laughing said, Right train, wrong ticket., The wife failed to see the humor and not cracking a smile replied, No sleeper cars on that train either, Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?" Your email address will not be published. / It is a gait he only knows / When he has on his golfing clothes. but I can show you what is! And now it will be poisoned for you. "If everything was given to you, it wouldn't feel as good when you achieve it." Annika Sorenstam 24. Funny Golf Quotes and Sayings. They like cricket better. "It's good to see there is still some respect in the world." "Well, it's only right," the first golfer replies. That I am sure of will make your day full of joy! Golfs a game where you shout, FOUR! and score a seven, while writing down a five. Steve Bann, Theres a reason why golfers walk forward to their next shot. In your approach to golf, no one can tell you what to do. Because he walked into the wrong club! Winston S. Churchill, You ought to take more exercise if youre inclined to have a liver. Many of these expressions of life, result in taking the form of wishes, quotes, greetings, messages, and captions. The right place is right here with me, in my bed. She can only show you her dirty secrets in private, only with you. Learn More. Tell me what your favorite sports game is, and I will tell you, who you are. -Bobby Jones Geoff Shackelford, Golf sits in that beautiful junction between perfection and frustration. Its not just enough to swing at the ball. What did the golfer say after performing yoga? You are signed up for our newsletter! Because subtraction speaks louder than words. clubs. Peter Jacobson, 33. Like chess, golf is a game that is forever challenging but can never be conquered. Harvey Penick, 10. Beyond this, the comedian and violinist (an epic combination) made the above joke about golf. I . Jay Griffiths, Golf without mistakes is like watching haircuts. I'm known on the tour for having a lengthy club. My drives aren't always long and straight.. but I can show you what is! Discover the views of a person who feels the same way we do. Ben Hogan, To find a mans true character, play golf with him. Your email address will not be published. 8. Nay! A lot of Seniors love playing golf and also, they love jokes. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. These funny golf quotes and images coming from famous wise people are the most precious words worth sharing. Dont even putt. Golfing Quotes "Golf is like chasing a quinine pill around a -- Winston Churchill "Give me the fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf and you can keep the fresh air and the -- Jack Benny "You can make a lot of money in this game. Please read here for more information. But dont take it from us, check out the funny golf quotes below and enjoy a laugh or two. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. The only sure rule in golf is he who has the fastest golf cart never has to play the bad lie. Mickey Mantle, owner of one of the sweetest swings in baseball, not so much in golf. After some deliberation, he takes out his 3 iron and sails the ball 20 feet over the pin, and backs it up to within 3 feet of the pin. 1. "I'll kiss you on the rain so you get twice as wet". Jack Benny, The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight. Do you know what the Lama says? Whats one tip all golfers should follow to improve their game? Why did the golfer have to change his socks? A shot that goes in the cup is pure luck, but a shot to within two feet of the flag is skill. Ben Hogan, 5. Golfs three ugliest words: Still your shot. Dave Marr, 36. Thats incredible. Show Business is just to pay the greens fees." -Bob Hope "You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember when we were married," said the pouting wife. I tell it that this isnt going to hurt a bit. You may have heard these renowned quotes about funny golf before. What are a golfers favorite flowers? Many of them contain words and phrases that are unable to grace this slideshow. Big pupils lead to big scores. The worst club in my bag is my brain. Chris Perry, 42. I stepped on a rake.". Golf is a lot like life. The pressure originates in yourself; it builds from doubts. Because you coming back to my hotel is the only fair way for this evening to go. Does a bear crap in the woods? Fear shows up when there is an enlargement of the pupils. It was glorious when you did! 2023, 35 BEST Lionel Leo Messi Quotes (About Life, Work, and Football That Will Inspire You), 53 Cristiano Ronaldo Motivational Quotes (About Football, Hard Work, Life, and Family), Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. "Golf is the closest game to the game we call life. Short Golf Sayings And Quotes For Good Luck Shots, Funny Golf Quotes For Ladies And Gentlemen, TOP 30 Best Sayings On Theory | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, TOP 30 Meaningful Sayings On Sweet Love | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Notable Quotes About Subtle | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, TOP 30 Meaningful Quotes About Volunteerism | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Top Quotes About Snuggle | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 27+ Revolutionary Sayings On Hysterical | Free Hd Background Images Download, TOP 30 Favorite Sayings About Hypocrites | Free Hd Background Images Download, 92+ Meaningful Sayings About Hypocrisy | Free Hd Wallpaper Images Download, 21+ Creative Sayings About Hypnosis | Free Hd Wallpaper Pictures Download, 12+ Beautiful Sayings On Hype | Free Hd Background Pictures Download. Why a carrot as a logo? They have been there where we are standing now. 23+ Revolutionary Sayings From Corrie Ten Boom | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 52+ Knowledgeable Sayings On Cosmetologist | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, 43+ Motivating Sayings On Hungry | Free Hd Background Pictures Download, TOP 50 Inspirational Golf Quotes & Sayings | Download Images, 58+ Funny Tennis Quotes | Free Images & Pictures Download, TOP 50 Funny Sports Quotes | HD Images & Pictures Download. If there has been one fundamental reason for my success, this is it. Gene Sarazen, 22. Spread your legs a little more. Whats the difference between the g-spot and a golf ball? They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken. Ray Floyd, 41. Dirt your body. I chipped in from the rough! 6. Noah who? Ive played the game for 50 years and I still havent the slightest idea of how to play. Gary Player, 39. I`m really worried about myself. Without trust, it feels like you and your golf club are on opposite sides of a tug-of-war. Dr. Joseph Parent, 9. If you worry about the ones you missed, you are going to keep missing them. Walter Hagen, 47. "One of the reasons Arnie Palmer is playing so well is that, before each final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Golf: A five-mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges Full Text: Please do not drop your cigarette butts on the ground. Lee Trevino. The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network. 8. And maybe that same element inspires the poets, writers and artists to pay homage to golfor at least lament its cruelty. It takes a lot of balls to play golf knowing youre a bad golfer. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip. Sir W.G. You shot an eight. Besides that, I love to explore. 47 Hilarious Quotes About Driving. Dean Martin, He loved the game. After shooting 30 over par after 18 holes, Jim is on his way home from the 18th having a chat with his Karen. You're more beautiful than a hundred pink flamingos on a golf course. Im a friend and all Im going to do is give it a nice little ride. Sam Snead, 35. Paul Gallico, I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles. Have a look at these best picture quotes of funny golf. How do you know a golfer is cheating on his wife? I'm pretty good with my short putts. What is a golfers favorite bird? Sam Snead. Is the word spelled P-U-T or P-U-T-T? She asked her instructor. I am Jimmy, clown at heart. Golfing? Wodehouse, The value of routine; trusting your swing. Robert Fuller Murray, The uglier a mans legs are, the better he plays golf. Dave Barry, If you drink, dont drive. How do you know you should be a golfer? when we were married," said the pouting wife. To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Showing 1 to 56 of 56 entries Click me to show the form! You'll get wet outside and inside with these sexy quotes. A man and his friend meet at the clubhouse to play a round of golf together. Your fifth putt. Whats the difference between a golf ball and a car? Damn, girl. Read more: Hilarious poop jokes that kids will love! How many strokes was that? Mulligans are the reason golf balls come three to a sleeve. Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off. The famed author of Centaur, John Updike wrote about the gentleman's game with some regularity. You may share any of these heartfelt photos with funny golf quotes without hesitation. What do you do after a round of 18 on a hot sunny day? In case he got a hole in one! We have compiled the best list of pick up lines with references to golf style, golf clubs, golf course, and various famous golf celebrity. What did the Mormon say to his golfing buddies? Hey would you like what you're hiding in your tight jeans to be the 34th ranked golfer in the world because I can make that V-jay sing? In case he gets a hole in one. Achieve more with each and every round you play. Wodehouse Jim Murray. 1. What does masturbation and 4 putting have in common? Concentrate on the one fault you want to overcome. Sam Snead, 55. Dirty Golf Pick Up Lines; Dirty Music Pick Up Lines; Dirty Holiday Pick Up Lines; A guy will spend 10 minutes trying to find his lost golf ball. Sick of the same tired old golf puns and gags? Basketball is a sport for black men. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows. I never learned anything from a match that I won. Bobby Jones, 62. You grind it out. Tiger Woods, 54. 3. How the heck did that happen? If a bird sh#ts on your golf cart, do not ever take her golfing again. What's the difference between a golfball and a Nissan? 1. Any birdie will do. happen again! Its possible, by too much of it, to destroy the mind. Daphne du Maurier, With many twists and holes life is much like a golf game; without bats, you cannot Play. Enjoy! A large pine tree sits in front of his ball, directly between it and the green. Not just in the game, but that can be applied to life, relationships and ones mindset. From the moment I saw you, I've had a vertical shaft angle. A golf ball can be driven 300 yards. Dave Barry, Golf is the only game I know where you call a foul on yourself. Full Text: Are you hinting my apples aren't what they ought to be? Tiger Woods can drive a ball three hundred yards! Guys will spend at least 5 minutes looking for a golf ball. 2. I had a terrible round today, I only hit two good balls, and that was when I stepped on a rake. This position should feel sort of unnatural and should permit you to hook the ball without altering your golf swing. Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result. Tommy Armour, 40. The greatest single lesson to be learned from golf is mental discipline. Louise Suggs, 51. Robert Fuller Murray, Golf is a fascinating game. I once played a course that was so tough, I lost two balls in the ball washer! Another Ball in the Trees. Would you mind being treated like a green that I'm 140 yards away from, holding my pitching wedge with very little wind in any direction? It took one afternoon on the golf course. Oh you only have a threesome, mind if I join? I love the contrast between the agony of a golfer bleeding out and the ecstasy of a moment of creative genius. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Intercourse! My drives aren't always long and straight. What hot new enhancement pill can you use to beef up your game? A threesome were getting ready to tee off on the 10thwhen they notice a single player, running up the fairway, taking a shot almost immediately to then run up to the green for a 3 putt to put it in. The most important shot in golf is the next one. Ben Hogan, 56. Rory McIlroy has a GOOD driver! To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly. Why are there 18 holes on a golf course? Golf turns outdoors into indoors, a prefab mat of stultified grass, processed, pesticided, herbicided, the pseudo-green of formica sterilityThe enemy of wildness, it is a demonstration of the absolute dominion of man over wild nature. You need to adjust your grip. A great shot is when you pull it off. A dirty joke is a joke that is usually considered inappropriate because of its indecent punchline. Go to the golf course. Are you a water hazard? That round was so poor, I think Im going to jump into the lake by the 16th and drown myself, I honestly doubt that. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: az11107, jemallor, 21ob, dudedudester1, racke78, mcsheehy54, konczalangelia, fourq2. The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes. If everything was given to you, it wouldnt feel as good when you achieve it. Annika Sorenstam, 24. 5. Colleen Ferrary Bader, Behold, my child, this touching scene, the golfer on the golfing-green / Pray mark his legs uncanny swing / The golf-walk is a gruesome thing! Dave Hill, My swing is then adjusted / as words take off and fly / And landing safe beyond the trap / to make the devil cry. Dirty Quotes For Him "You can stay but your clothes must go." "Let's make love, then have a h0t dirty time." "I promise to always be by your side. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators. Gerald R. Ford, the 38th President of the United States and the first to admit a lack of talent on the links. The lowest score wins. O'Grady's comment relates the essence of the experience of a lot of rounds of golf for a lot of golfers. 8. Ben Hogan, I know I am getting better at golf because Im hitting fewer spectators. Achieve more with each and every round you play.Go Premium to et full access to our most advanced on-course and improvement features. Or on top." "I have lovemaking with you a lot in my head." "Let's have a 'who's better in b3d' contest. All he knows how to play with is Clubs! 22. If you continue to use this site we will assume that you are happy with it. Tommy Bolt, As golf conquered the United States in the decades preceding World War I, the British import took on new forms. Choose Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions. Say what you want about the other sports, none of them hold a candle to golf when it comes to inspirational and downright funny quotes. Jack Lemmon, There are many things you can successfully fake in businessbut a good golf swing isnt one of them. Kurt Philip Behm, The reason they call it golf is that all the other 4 letter words were used up. Toggle Navigation Menu . Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a468f26f096b5aaed8fdef8efc580f6f" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. If it is the dirty element that gives pleasure to the act of lust, then the . You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. Figure out your weakness and dont make it your weakness anymore. Stacy Lewis, 60. By stragetically placing fire hydrants. He sat down next to a beautiful blonde. Photo: Shutterstock. Golf is a game where the ball lies like crap, but the player lies like a pro. Funny Family Poems. 9. Of course, says the old man, when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall.. Arnold Palmer is playing in a big tournament and comes to a 235 yard par-3. I like big putts and I cannot lie. Features: Size: 3.5x10 inches Made from solid knotty pine Routed slot in back for hanging plus flat edges for optional shelf-sitting. On the Green In Two. . I have 17 wives, one more and I will have a golf course!. I was actually enjoying it. ~ Sijin Bt. They have a hard drive. Very interesting. Why didnt the golfer finish his homework? 6. He doesnt hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. Dont break your heart, but flirt with the possibility. Louise Suggs, 8. No other game combines the wonder of nature with the discipline of sport in such carefully planned ways. I derive a great deal of pleasure from it, but it is disgusting to watch. A Jew, a Catholic and a Mormon are having drinks at the bar after an interfaith convention. If you think it's hard to meet new people, pick up the wrong golf ball on the Because if you aren't hurt, you're not really trying. And three, have a passion for what youre doing. Juli Inkster, 28. Golf: A five mile walk punctuated with frequent disappointments. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "Its golf balls." "Hockey is a sport for white men. It can be difficult. Lansky's quote is funny because, well, as golfers we're all a little bit masochistic. You want some dirty golfing jokes, we got them for you. Boo. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact a 7-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball. P.G. A two-foot putt to win a bet or a tournament or a Masters is another thing entirely. I love you and I want you to stay with me., Woman: You dont understandIm a hooker., Man: That is no problem, darlin, you probably just have too strong a grip.. Joe Posnanski, Over the years, Ive studied the habits of golfers. Are you a Nike One Platinum ball because I'd like to see you on a T? How about you be my caddy and wash my balls tonight? Happy Gilmore. Such is the game. When your golf cart capsizes. What does he do if you miss a putt?, Friend: Somersaults? Top Ten Golf Phrases That Sound Dirty But Aren't: 10. I wanna take out your golf clubs and score a HOLE in 1. Jennifer Wyatt, Muscular freedom is probably more important in golf than in any other sport, but very few players take the trouble to get loosened up. Knock, knock Nothing it should have ducked. Why does the temperature on the course rise after a long tournament ends? Full Text: The Most Important Things In Life Aren't Things Features: Size: 7x36 inches Made from solid knotty pine Beveled edges Routed slot in back for hanging. "The difference in golf and government is that in golf you can't improve your lie.". The cat crawls out at night to smoke them and we are trying to get him to quit. But there is a difference between playing well and hitting the ball well. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.". He always puts his driver in the wrong bag. If you win through bad sportsmanship, thats no real victory. Babe Didrikson Zaharias, 11. Why are golf and sex so similar? Use these pick up lines to your advantage in starting a chat with your guy or girl. Why do golfers carry a spare pair of golf shorts? What do you jot down if you dont remember if you hit a 6 or a 7? If you dont take it seriously, its no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Lift your head and spread your legs. Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work. Jack Nicklaus, 3. He said. Required fields are marked *. 3. These words carry the feeling for those you care about and those who care about you. He was perfecting his swing. "You think so much of your old golf game that you don't even remember It took me 17 years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. See more ideas about golf humor, golf, humor. Being a thoughtful person, and a social being, I find it very amusing to explore people's thoughts, observations, and experiences. After his practice round he noticed a beautiful young woman by the clubhouse. "If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.". Would you like to see my Slazenger along with my freshly cleaned balls? One fine day, John and Don are out golfing when John slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. "The most important shot in golf is the next one." Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. Whats the difference between golf and sex? His playing partner: Wow that was one of the most beautiful things that I have ever witnessed., Man: Well, I was married to her for 30 years.. Two men were playing a round golf, one of the men was just about to make his golf swing when he noticed a large funeral group passing by on a nearby road. If you drink, dont drive. Go Premium to get full access to our most advanced on-course and improvement features.
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